


Lizzy-Betty

by Epiphanyx7



Series: How to Win Friends and SMASH! [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Children, Friendship, Gen, Hulk Smash, POV Hulk, Protective Hulk, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1597139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epiphanyx7/pseuds/Epiphanyx7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a noise. Not robot noise, this is human-noise, a crying-noise. Hulk squints but there is no human.</p>
<p>Close eyes -- human noise, crying. Robot noise-- going to shoot!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lizzy-Betty

**Author's Note:**

> The long-awaited sequel arrives at last! This fic goes out to anyone who needs a hug. Yes, that means YOU, dear friend.

Hulk is sleeping, because stupid puny Banner doesn’t let Hulk wake up until something hurts him. When things hurt Banner, Hulk is stronger than Banner. Hulk will come out and smash the things that hurt Banner, because nobody is allowed to hurt Banner.

Banner has been hurt enough.

Hulk will smash anything because Hulk is biggest. Hulk is strongest.

But Hulk sleeps until Banner is hurt.

This time Banner isn’t hurt, Banner is not scared. This time, Banner asks, Hulk want to smash?

Hulk likes smash.

Yes, he says to Banner. Yes, Hulk will smash. Hulk will smash all the things that need smashing.

Banner lets Hulk out, and Hulk is awake and not hurt and nobody shoots him.

Teeny Tiny Vengers are there. Good. Vengers are also good at smashing. They smash the small things, Hulk will smash big things. “Smash,” Hulk says, happy.

“Hulk,” says Cap-Ten. He points at a robot. It is a big robot. Hulk knows what a robot is, because robots are metal and make good noises when he smashes them. “Smash.”

Hulk smashes the robot.

There are more robots, behind the first one. Hulk smashes that robot too, and then another robot. Lots of robots, lots of smashing. Hulk smashes the biggest and the best and smashes more robots than the others. He picks up a big robot and smashes it into a small robot, and then he picks up the ball of metal-robot-parts and hurls it another robot.

This is Hulk’s favourite thing.

Smash smash smash!

Smash robot face, smash robot leg, pick up robot leg, smash. SMASH.

Hulk catches tiny Cupid when he jumps off building, and then Hulk remembers not to throw the tiny Cupid. “Where?” Hulk asks, and Cupid twists around in Hulk’s fingers before he points at a big flat rooftop.

“Can you get me onto the roof of the bank?” Cupid asks.

Hulk jumps. Hulk lands. Teeny Cupid is making teeny Cupid-noises, but he doesn’t smell like angry and doesn’t smell like scared.

Good. Hulk puts Cupid onto the roof and waits.

Teeny Cupid shows his teeth. That is a smile.

Hulk smiles back.

“Wow, that’s disconcerting,” Teeny Cupid says. “Thanks for the lift, buddy. Uh, I think Cap needs some backup, if you wanna--”

“Smash,” Hulk agrees, and jumps from the roof.

He smashes lots of robots.

After a while, none of the robots move any more. Hulk smashes one again. It makes a good noise and smashes nice and flat, but no more moving. Is smash all finished?

Hulk sniffs. Maybe there is more robots for smashing. Maybe is hiding? Not lots of places for hide. He looks under a car, but no robot. Under a metal staircase, but no robot. Maybe in building?

Inside building is people. Little puny humans do not scream at Hulk.

“Robot?” Hulk asks.

The humans smell of fear-stink and tears. They say “No,” and there is no robot. Hulk does not stay.

Outside, the Vengers are pulling the smashed-robots into their cars to move away. Hulk moves slow, careful. No Stepping On Humans, Banner says, because when Hulk steps on humans, humans always make noise.

No noise is good.

He hears a noise, it is a robot noise. Where is the robot? Is the robot smashed?

The smashed robots are not moving, not making noise. The robot noise must be coming from not-smashed robot. But where? Where is it? Hulk needs to find. Will find, will smash, then puny Banner will be safe. Safe and not hurt.

Shiny-Metal flies in the air, stops near Hulk. “Stick around, big guy,” Shiny-Metal says. “After this, we’re going for burgers. I know a joint that’s got a patio big enough for you and Thor.”

“Smash, then eat.” Hulk agrees.

“Good talk.” Shiny-Metal flies away.

Hulk looks. No robots.

Hulk listens. Robot noise.

Hulk sniffs. Smells like robot, like humans, like fear, and smoke and smog and old coffee-new-coffee-sweat-urine-rot-termites-sewers-running-high-electricity-in-the-air-hot-humid-rain-is-coming---

Hulk closes eyes, listens for robot. Coming from thataway.

Move thataway. More listen. Where robot?

There. There. Close?

Close now.

Robot?

Hulk opens eyes.

Is building, half-smashed. Dirt and wall and wood, all in piles. Messy, shadowy. Good for hide, so here is robot. Hulk will find, will smash. Come out come out, robot!

There is a noise. Not robot noise, this is human-noise, a crying-noise. Hulk squints but there is no human.

Close eyes -- human noise, crying. Robot noise-- going to shoot!

Hulk roars. Robot uses hot-fire-ouch-weapon, shoots  at Hulk. NO SHOOTING HULK. HULK WILL SMASH YOU. SMASH STUPID GUNS NO POINTING GUNS AT HULK.

Stupid robot.

The robot is smashed and Hulk sits down, holding arm. Arm stings, feels like lightning, like thunder. Like ants all on inside of Hulk’s skin. Stupid ants. Stupid puny robot and stupid puny gun. Stupid human crying noise making Hulk’s head hurt.

Hulk roars at the noise.

The noise stops. Good.

“Mister Hulk?”

There is a human-voice, but no human. Hulk looks in front, but no human, and looks behind, but no human. There is no human in the smashed-house.

“Mister Hulk?” voice says again.

Where is voice? Hulk looks. It is down. Down down down. Not a human, because small. Very small. Smaller than Teeny Vengers, smaller than Betty. Smallest ever! Is a dirt.

Dirts have voice! Hulk did not know! Hulk learned a new thing. He looks at the Dirt. “Ullo,” he says, because manners.

“Hello, Mister Hulk,” The dirt says. It is a very small dirt.

Hulk squats down so that he can hear the dirt.

“Hello, Dirt.” Hulk says.

The dirt giggles. “I’ma stuck. Can you help? My leg got sticked under the staircase and now it won’t move.”

Hulk looks, but there is no staircase. On the ground, there is a thing that is bendy like stairs. Is that staircase? How did it move? Hulk sniffs, but it doesn’t smell like anything but dirt-cement-plywood-paint. Maybe is stairs?

“Move?” Hulk considers this. If dirt is stuck under, then cannot smash. If smash staircase, then smash dirt, smash voice. Move up? Up would not smash. But then maybe up would not be stuck. Hulk’s head hurts. Maybe Banner can do?

No. Banner not smash robots. If Hulk let Banner wake up, then Hulk not get hamburger! Smash then eat, that is rule.

Hulk pokes a finger. Fit under staircase? Yes. Good, then Hulk can lift.

“Careful,” Hulk reminds himself. “Gentle. Careful. Is ready.”

He lifts. Hulk is strong. Hulk is strongest and best. Hulk is strongest and best and smartest! Smarter than Banner! Hulk fixed it all by himself!

Put bendy staircase down, over edge of smashed wall. Now no dirt is stuck! Yay for Hulk!

“Stuck?” Hulk asks the dirt.

The dirt wiggles around, happily. “Thank you Mister Hulk!” it says. Dirt moves some more, then more appears. It is bigger than smallest, but still smaller than small. Hulk peers at it.

Under the dirt is a human.

Oh. Not a dirt.

“ThankyoumisterHulk,” the small one says.

Hulk cannot remember the banner-words for after-thank-yous, so he grunts. The small not-dirt human is not making loud noise or shooting at Hulk, so maybe is a good human. Small humans can be nice! Hulk knows this. There is Cap-Ten and Cupid and Shiny-Metal, and Nice-Voice-Scary-Lady, and Betty and Red Betty and... he looks closer at the dirt. The not-dirt.

Smaller than small, still. It smells like a dirt, but shaped like a human thing. Smells like tears-sad-scared-tired-hurt, and like sleep.

Safe? Banner reminds Hulk. That is rule.

No, here is not safe. Here is robots and houses that are smashed, and stairs that are down and not up. Not safe for Hulk’s Dirt.

“Come,” Hulk says, and offers his hand.

The Dirt climbs into his palm, not scared. It is very small, little in Hulk’s big hand. Hulk is very big, very very much bigger than the dirt. He holds his hand up, so that he can see the dirt properly.

“I’m Lizzy,” Hulk’s Dirt says, patting his cheek. Her hand is very small, but very gentle.

Hulk likes this tiny gentle Dirt. “Lizzy,” he says. “Hello Lizzy. I Hulk.”

The Lizzy puts her arms around Hulk’s neck and squeezes. Her tiny Lizzy face touches Hulk’s neck and she feels warm, very warm. “What doing?” Hulk asks, alarmed.

“S’a hug.” Lizzy says. “Thank you for saving me, Mister Hulk.”

The Lizzy breathes out, softly, and then again. Goes soft and relaxed in Hulk’s hand, touching Hulk’s face. Humans do not touch Hulk, but Lizzy touches hulk. Banner tells Hulk to follow rules-- gentle, and protect, and safe, and careful. Rules are for Betty, so... maybe Lizzy can be Hulk’s Betty, too.

“Lizzy-Betty,” Hulk says. “Come. Find Cap-Ten. Smash robots all done, then get burgers.”

“Mmmkay,” Lizzy-Betty says. Lizzy-Betty smells like sleep, like happy. It is a good smell. Hulk puts his free hand over her back, careful-gentle, cups her against his chest. Lizzy-Betty is a good Betty, Hulk will take good care.

Hulk is best. Hulk is strongest. Hulk can take care of his Betties.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://epiphanyx7.tumblr.com/)! Or, if you need a dose of the fluffy and joyous things in world, try following my fluffy side blog: [Fluffpocalypse](http://fluffpocalypse.tumblr.com/).


End file.
